


"tell me awful things,"

by zacefronspants



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 3 times or whatever, Angst and Feels, Multi, Slightly - Freeform, henlo friends, idk - Freeform, there's kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 20:21:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14292714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zacefronspants/pseuds/zacefronspants
Summary: two times steve thought about kissing nat and bucky and the one time he did





	"tell me awful things,"

**Author's Note:**

> for my sweet, sweet boy josh!

**01.**

He’s fifteen when Natasha sits down next to him in the library and asks him, lips brushing against his cheek when she leans in, “Have you ever kissed a girl, Steve?” And he wants to tell her yes, that he’s kissed a lot of girls, but all he can do is shake his head and whisper, “I haven’t, girls don’t like me much. M’too skinny, they think.” Natasha takes a finger and runs it along his cheek, leaning into his line of sight and smiles at him and she looks like every girl his mama told him to avoid; dark red lips and a glint in her eye that says, “I’m going to eat you,” and it makes him shiver so hard it rattles the table. She smiles at him, all white teeth and red lips and Steve thinks he’d like to kiss her silly.  

“I’d like to kiss you, Steve.” She says so airy and soft it makes Steve clenches his pencil in his hand and sob out a laugh that sounds equal parts angry and hopeful and desperate that he just shakes his head. Steve drops his pencil and runs his hands over his face, looking at Natasha through his fingers, “Why would someone who looks like you want to kiss someone who looks like me?” And he swears he can feel the pity rolling off of her in waves that are slapping at his feet.

Natasha leans in impossibly closer; there’s stale menthol cigarettes on her breath, it makes his eyes water. “I want to kiss pretty people, Rogers. You’re pretty,” She says it so slowly and low that he feels his bones turn to mush and all he can do is nod stupidly. She pulls back and taps his sketchbook, smiling at the smudged ink drawing of her and Bucky leaning to close together. He rushes to hide it, but she looks like she’s memorized every line, every stain and just looks at him like she knows something he doesn’t. 

Natasha kisses the corner of his mouth and it makes him inhale deeply, almost feels like she’s making thousands of promises to keep kissing him.

When she stands up it’s nearly impossible not to let his eyes follow her movements and it’s even harder to stop the soft sigh he lets slip past his lips when she looks over her shoulder at him and winks. Steve knows two very important things; Natasha Romanoff is going to be the death of him and he thinks he’s alright with that.

**02.**  

Steve is sixteen and fighting the urge to look at Bucky’s mouth whenever he’s talking and tries to remind himself that Bucky’s got Natasha and he wouldn’t know what to do if he were to actually kiss him. Steve tries, oh how he tries, to stop himself from liking Bucky, and opts for asking Mary Sue, a girl from their homeroom with a high ponytail with a lilac ribbon tried around the hair elastic, if he can draw her as his art project. Steve ends up with her laughing at him hysterically and whispering, “You’re not serious, are you?” And he feels so fucking stupid and laughs it off as a joke and listens to Bucky talk about Natasha and the weird things they do in bed and to each other as pranks. And desperately tries to forget the way Mary’s laugh sounded against his eardrums.

Steve’s sitting on the front stoop of his apartment, sketching furiously and trying not to cry when he hears his mom coughing through the screen door. Steve’s got his bottom lip is between his teeth and his hair is in a messy heap on his fore head and when Bucky walks up and Steve wants to kiss him so bad. Steve looks at him and he can feel himself starting to try and learn every inch of his face he can. Bucky sits next to him on the stoop and leans his head to look at the sketch on the cream colored paper, his hand resting on Steve’s shoulder.

“She taste as sweet as she smells?” Steve asks after a few minutes and he watches Bucky tighten his jaw as he retracts his hand and slips it into the pocket of his jeans. “Because she must have if you can’t wash your fucking hands.” Steve says, and he’s not angry, or jealous. Bucky can feel the underlying sadness in his voice and it makes him angry at himself. Bucky tries to apologize to him but all he says instead is, “Yes.” And that’s when Steve tells him to leave, and he does.

It’s weeks later when Bucky pulls Steve off of someone and tells him to stop being a punk that Steve punches him and Bucky just lets him do it, asking softly, “Want me to clean your face up?”

**03.**

Steve is twenty when he pushes Natasha against the door and leaning in close enough he can smell the coffee on her mouth. Steve isn’t sure who moved first, but he can’t be bothered when Natasha is licking into his mouth and taking everything she can from him, gnashing their teeth together and knocking their noses in desperate attempts to taste the other and briefly, Steve notes that he can taste sugar on Natasha’s tongue. There’s fingers in his hair and it all feels too much like fantasies he keeps in a box that he only opens when he’s had to much too drink and can’t stop the longing in his chest. But then, Natasha is gasping and moaning into his open mouth and Steve wants to keep that noise forever, so he grinds his hips against hers and whispers, “I’m sorry.”

Steve shouldn’t to do it again, but she tastes so good, so he kisses her. Natasha makes a noise, a little, surprised “oh,” as their lips meet. And she's pulling him in, asking for more. He gives it to her, trying to tell her everything, with his lips and his hands, but he knows it won't work because it's not something he wants her to know.

When they break apart, he’s a little disheveled and Natasha looks like a piece of art this way. She’s always art, but he loves seeing her with swollen lips and knowing he’d done that. Just for an instance, she looks like a piece of art the way he made him. Her eyes are big and wider than usual and he can see the surprise creeping back into them. And Steve's tired of walking away because he knows it's no use. He's tired of this whole Goddamn thing. So he doesn't fight it, he pulls her to him and he kisses her. He kisses her with everything in him, with all the longing he's done and all the misery at knowing he can't have her. When he breaks away Natasha's left gasping.

Steve slots their mouths together and licks at her tongue, “Come on, we can’t do this here,” is the hushed out groan he gets when he pulls away from her and fuck, Bucky’s right behind Natasha and he can feel the hunger rolling off of him in waves and fuck, Steve’s pretty sure he’s died.

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to let me know if i missed anything or any typos!


End file.
